Sunday, August 10, 2014

"You are AWESOME!" "No, YOU'RE more awesome!"

For the last six years Leigh and I have wanted to become actual friends--not just "let's have a cup of coffee during the workday" friends.  This year we've done it:  we've eaten dinner together at my house.  Her family has met up with me and Maybelle at a fountain at one of the county parks.  She and I have had at least two lunches in which we've discussed shitty, shitty stuff.

One important part of that is that when I share truly shitty stuff with someone, then they're moving into another layer of friendship.  I'm very good at pretending all is well and then going home feeling incredibly sad and nauseated.  So here's Leigh:  getting the sadness and nausea in person.*

People have been generous and wonderful when they learn about my brain tumor, surgery, radiation.  I've had people make me feel incredibly warm inside when they tell me they will do anything I need.  The problem is, as I often respond, is that I don't know what I need.  I tell folks that I'll let them know when I recognize a need.

But I've had a couple of people who've been especially helpful, because instead of offering help, they offer a specific thing.  Here's what Leigh offered:

Ridiculously cute matching outfits.  Maybelle loves
Chantelle.  Like, LOVES her.  Is happy to dismiss me
when Chantelle arrives.
It's a website she created to raise money for the babysitting I'm going to need for months and months.  For instance, in order to get things done for the trip, I'm spending $190, plus another $200 for the student who's spending a night and two days with Maybelle.  Babysitting isn't cheap, and because I have the best babysitters ever, I want to be sure they're paid.

Although my mom, Catherine, and Eliza are taking turns doing live-in time with me, but that won't last forever.  The radiation lasts for six weeks, and I suspect I'm going to need help. So one thought was that Chantelle and Anthony could spend the weekend if I'm feeling particularly exhausted. I can come in and out, but they'll be responsible for taking care of Maybelle.  Stuff like that.

I feel a little weird putting the word out about this...but here it is.  The word.  From the comments I'm getting on the blog and on Facebook, it's incredibly clear that many of you want to help.  And Leigh's created a way that you can.  Sending flowers can be a sweet, sweet gesture--but getting me some help to take care of Maybelle as a single parent with a significant medical issue?  That would be beautiful.

*I don't give a good enough representation of Leigh here.  The reason I feel comfortable being nauseated around her is because she's awesome.  Really.  And she wrote this book.


  1. (I just wanna say I'm a lucky, grateful dude to be surrounded by such amazing people like Leigh and Alison in my life. That's all.)

  2. I am honored to be your friend and am just thrilled that YOU reached out to ME to grow our friendship. So I'm "ok" but YOU are the awesomest. Plus infinity. And back.

    And yeah people, check out this rally: It's growing like gangbusters so thanks for everyone's support!

  3. I am so happy that you're doing this and giving people like myself, who live so far away yet care so much for you two, the opportunity to help. But I'm sort of hoping that you get so much money for babysitting that you can fly me out to Charleston to have a turn!