|This isn't truly a grouchy face. I was falsely|
grouchily showing off the plastic knobs on my head.
So for that reason, I'm offering a slightly more upbeat post. I'm not going to be falsely cheerful, but I'll share a few things that aren't entirely focused on fear/danger/pain. Instead, I'll tell you other aspects of this process.
For instance: last night my mom and I arrived at our very nice hotel to get ready for today's 8:30am pre-op process at the Duke hospital. I went out to the car to get my suitcase, which not only has my clothes, toothbrush, and books, but also my medicine. The seizure medicine. Which I have to take every morning and night. The suitcase is fairly important. So here's evidence of how freaked out I am: the car was empty. No suitcase. I carefully packed it, then left it at home. Because mom and I were able to get replacement seizure drugs at CVS, the situation was funnier than it was distressing.
And here's another example: After I wrote about gratitude and pain the other day, I've gotten probably 20 emails from students telling me how important I've been to their lives--in ways I wasn't aware of. Plus, as I'm sure you've noticed, there have been some powerful comments on the blog (Robin Bowers, I'm talking about you) and on Facebook (SO many of you have written things that have moved me). Wisdom. I'm trying to breathe it in.
And finally, I'd like to celebrate friend-from-afar, Kris. She became part of my life five years ago, when I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, because she'd had one recently, and a women's studies friend had connected us. The brilliant thing she did was text me with jokes every day leading up to the surgery. She's doing it again! It's fantastic. I'm eager to read every text she sends.
So I'm going to offer two. #1 is my favorite. #2 is most appropriate to this evening. You can read either or both--your choice.
#1: Two penguins walk into a bar. The third penguin says, "Huh--you'd have thought the second one would have seen it."
#2: A brain walked into a bar. "I'll have a pint," she says. "No way!" says the bartender. "You're out of your head!"
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Previous posts to give you background: