Driving

I had a friend's car Saturday from 10 to 4. That meant Maybelle and I got to do whatever we wanted.  Because I can drive.

As I often do, I'd gotten in touch with quite a few friends this week, looking for Saturday plans.  Nobody was available.  Let me assure you that six hours with Maybelle, on the peninsula, just the two of us, with every outing involving me biking us somewhere, often for several miles--well, those aren't always fun hours.  If it rains, forget it.  It's six hours in the house, with Maybelle and I growing sicker and sicker of each other.

But Saturday we had a car.  I realized that I didn't have to be as careful in my planning as I do on the bike. If I'm biking several miles, I'd better damn well be sure that I've got every necessary--or potentially necessary--item packed up, because turning around and biking another several miles to return home, then several miles to get back where I was, isn't fun.  It's incredibly healthy, but how many miles a day do I have to bike to feel I've gotten a healthy amount of biking?  Just getting to campus achieves that.  So I generally have to be efficient, think through a series of potential issues, bring whatever food might be necessary, extra clothes, etc.

Not a Subaru, but still a decent car for me to get.

I'm allowing myself to complain here because Saturday I wasn't having to deal with those challenges.  I was acting like a person living in the lap of luxury:  If I forget something essential, I'll drive home and get it! If I'm 15 miles away and realize I've forgotten something, I'll just drive home and get it!  I recognize that this isn't a good life philosophy, but on Saturday I felt like I was allowed to bask.  To be selfish.  To be scattered.

My mom made Maybelle a CD awhile back, and I put it in the CD player.  Maybelle and I sang enthusiastically as we drove along.  She brought three of her girls and played with them.

We went to a county park swimming area that's a good 30 minutes away from our home.  We went there because it's just a fantastic kids' swim area (I'll describe it in great detail some other time).  We got there when we wanted, and we got to stay as long as we wanted to.  After 2+ hours swimming, we drove back home and rested our completely exhausted bodies.  Imagine if I'd been swimming that enthusiastically somewhere downtown, then had to bike back home?  I'm incredibly grateful that I didn't have to do that today. Then after we rested, we went and got some groceries.  I didn't have to examine them carefully, deciding how much would fit in the bike basket.  There was a trunk on the car!  I could get whatever we needed!

It was a luxurious day.

Let me stress that I have the most incredibly community of generous friends who are eager to get groceries, to invite Maybelle and me to come do things (this is how I learned about this fantastic kids' swim park, from a friend who took us out there for a morning of play), to carry us to and from fun afternoons at their houses.  I'm so grateful this group.  I will continue to need them, and I know this.

This driving feels vulnerable to me, like it's a wonderful, unexpected gift.  I don't know how long it will last.  For years?  That might be true, since it's been over a year since I've had a seizure that made me unconscious, and the current drugs seem to be working.

So Saturday I drove.  Today I'll drive.  I might even buy a car so that I can drive when I want.  It's a huge transition.  Huge.  Huge.