2013 has been one of the most eventful, challenging years of my life. Some very, very difficult things throughout the year. A couple of times I've considered whether this year was worse than the brain tumor year, and friends have said, "Good lord, if this is worse than the brain tumor, that's saying a lot!" I've decided that this year and the brain tumor year have been equally bad--but bad in very different ways.
And yet it's been a year when I've had lots of amazing events and discoveries--for instance, I discovered that I'm surrounded by friends who aren't just "friends" but are essential sources of support, professionally and personally. They made me laugh. They gave me consistent and incredibly helpful feedback on my writing. They held my hands and let me cry. They did everything to help me move into Maybelle's and my new place, including saying "This is the place. Live here," deciding on and hiring the moving crew, and hauling thousands of boxes. I had to do almost nothing (except order pizza after the move was finished). They let me tell them everything. And they even brought Maybelle into their homes overnight when I needed space to breathe.
So: nothing in life is more important than this kind of friend, and this kind of family. And here they are, filling me up.
This is my message to myself for 2013. It's been on my laptop all year, and it's my theme, something I've said over and over, something that has helped me feel grounded, compassionate toward myself, less desperate.
We are all doing the best we can. This resonates with me. It feels true. I suspect I'll carry it with me into 2014.