But it's interesting to see how much discussion my Motherlode article has generated in the last 24 hours, and how it ranges from
- A woman who emailed me and said my daughter should be taken away from me and given to a family who respects her life. My commitment to reproductive justice means that I'm a murderer, not a mother.
- A commenter who said, "Wow all rainbows and kittens for you lady" because I'm not acknowledging how hard life with Maybelle will be when she's older.
- Another commenter who complained that those of us writing about disability rights fail to focus on the "drooling adults in diapers."
- Another who said, "In my opinion, the only kind, acceptable solution for the handicapped fetuses/babies is abortion at the earliest possible time."
- And many, many commenters who've complained about how much adults with intellectual disabilities cost society, and how little they contribute.
Let's rest assured that all this feedback is functioning as fantastic research for my book project.
Two things I will say right now:
1. Folks don't realize to what extent they can start to sound like people who are parodying arguments--some of this stuff I read, and it seems like material from The Onion.
2. I will never use the term "high functioning" or "low functioning" in discussing Down syndrome or any other intellectual disability. Useless and stereotyping terminology (I wrote about this last year, here).
And finally, here's a picture of Maybelle, because despite her occasional drooling (or perhaps because of it--what's wrong with a little spit?) she's pretty damn awesome.
When I read the comments -- or started to read the comments -- I felt physically nauseous. My go-to defense, then, is to attribute the vitriol to low IQ, then to sarcasm -- a sort of "bless their hearts." It's difficult not to want to rage against it all and feel utterly defeated, though, and I appreciate you filing it away for your book.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've said it before, but that Maybelle is so darn cute, I can't stand it.
I appreciated your article and agree with you on many points,but I got so angry reading the comments. Ugh! I hate to think that some day people will think of my son-who also has Down syndrome--as a 'drooling adult in diapers'. That one stung.
ReplyDeleteYeah, just stay away from the comments--particularly parents of kids with Down syndrome. You have to build a mental barrier of some sort.
DeleteI think "intellectual disability" is misleading as well. Who is to say that someone with Downs can't be very intelligent? Intellect isn't just about learning and applying pedestrian knowledge and skills. Intellect includes wit, emotion, empathy, creativity, abstraction, curiosity, etc... Honestly, there are lots of people who appear perfectly "normal" on the outside who are severely lacking in intellect.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I love that folks with autism have identified "neurodiversity": there's not one way to be intelligent. It's a diversity--how we label it helps with how we understand it.
DeleteI'm resisting the urge to go back today and read the comments. When I read the article yesterday, the commenters were mostly on the same side of the issue and had mostly missed the point of the article. It sounds like both sides are now represented, most are still missing the point, and their assertions have become even more ridiculous. The knowledge that my daughter has to share the planet with these people is disheartening to say the least.
ReplyDeleteOh yes she is!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. There's that one commenter from Knoxville, TN, who seems brilliant. :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm going through more of the comments tonight--I'll be on the lookout for the Knoxville commenter!
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