But back to my point: this morning Maybelle broke a bowl. I think it was mostly an accident, although I think it was also sort of an experiment. Yes, if you toss it, it breaks. And it was glass, so it broke into lots of little dangerous pieces. This happened while I'd ingested only half a cup of coffee, and after a night in which I'd had a bunch of nightmares about things like:
- We have no yogurt! (We actually have plenty of yogurt, because we went to the store on Saturday.)
- We have no coffee! (We are running a bit low, so that's frightening, but we still have some.)
- You've forgotten something crucial that has to be done at an important meeting! (Always possible.)
And then I went to get the broom, which had disappeared, so what I had to sweep the glass up with was Maybelle's broom--and it's about two feet tall. This is when Bitchmother emerged. Maybelle was sort of fascinated with the sweeping.
"You have to get out of the kitchen," I said, still mostly calmly. "There's glass on the floor, and it could hurt your feet."
She didn't move. I said, "Maybelle, get out. Get out!"
Still no moving. My fangs were emerging, and I started treating her like Gabe, the dog. "Bye bye, Maybelle! Bye bye!" This is what we say to the dog to make him go away. It actually works for him. Not so well with Maybelle.
I then pushed her out of the room, saying, "Bye bye! Go away! Go away! Mama is really irritated!"
This is the point at which her tears started welling up. And I swept up all the glass before I comforted her. Bitchmother. I'm glad I have role models to assure me that this behavior isn't going to cause too much damage.
Oh, it happens. Then the waves of remorse, apology, until "better-self mother" reappears. For a long while. Lack of sufficient caffeination seems to have played a key role in this particular transformation!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's Deandra, by the way...it didn't sign me in.
DeleteI'm comforted by the fact that I am
ReplyDeleteA/not alone, and
B/my child isn't the only one throwing things. All things, including breakable things, heavy things, things down the stairs, and things thrown near the dogs. It is not a good phase. Coffee is our only hope.
Coffee is incredibly helpful.
DeleteOh, man....I laughed loud and long over that post! I was there so many times, in case you have forgotten! Both the bitchmother (which I NEVER would have said, being such a goody-two-shoes) and the remorseful mother. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depending on your perspective) if not used very often, those episodes do sometimes actually seem to teach what it is we wanted to get across. As in, Maybelle will learn that when you speak with such power/emotion/bitchiness, you mean business and she'd better "hop to"! I'm guessing that was a fairly rare occurrence, right?
ReplyDeleteAnd surely our children appreciate the honesty "I am about to be really irritated" -- not as a threat "Don't make me angry!" but simply as a truthful claim -- "I am about to be irritated, irritation is a state where I will yell at whomever is here, so best case, leave the room and maybe I will simply be irritated with myself." And Kelly -- the only way I knew growing up that my mom was entering the dreaded bitchmother is that she would use the word "drat."
ReplyDeleteSo glad to know there's a term for this...I feel you.
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing and the baby is sleeping on my life so I'm trying to keep my chuckles silent!
ReplyDeleteSo, this is as Bitchmothery as you get? That's really mild.
ReplyDeleteYeah, several people have said that. It's true. I'll admit that I'm not highlighting the MOST Bitchmothery incidents. But fortunately, not many of them have happened lately.
DeleteHi, Alison. I've read "Baxter Sez" for a quite a while. Just thought I would emerge from the shadows and say, "hello". Robyn Porter Nabors
ReplyDeleteHow fun that you're reading! Thanks for outing yourself!
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